I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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