I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
