I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
