so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize