he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
