My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
