apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
