yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
