My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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