My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
