im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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