his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
