so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
