Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
