Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You are a genius and a whore.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
