u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wish i was in the wii world.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
