After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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