Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
