I'm really into asian looking animals
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize