just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Small penises have feelings too.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
