Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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