who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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