Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
