Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
