too bad you live with your parents still
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
