Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize