I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
