why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
