it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
