these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
