Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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