what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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