mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
