Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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