the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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