porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
