I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
