I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
