i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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