would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
