So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
