can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
