Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
