Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
