last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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