Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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