The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
