Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
