I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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