She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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