A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
