toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
