If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
