i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
