walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
