problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I met the friendliest cop last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
