Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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