They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
